LOL I made a gay wedding cake for my homophobic governor.
Bobby has always been pretty outspoken about his disdain for the gays. Lately, though, he's been pissing me / everyone off a little more than usual with his anti-LGBTQ antics, so I made him a gay wedding cake. I mean, the ability to decorate a cake was like the only reason I chose to be gay in the first place. The cake is just gay enough to make sure he'll hate it, but tasty enough so that he'll love it. It will be a confusing experience for us all. This is what growing up gay in the deep south does to you!
Just a quick break down on why we should all dislike this guy:
- He isn't into the whole marriage equality thing.
- He uses the fervor of religious individuals to spread his own personal anti-gay views.
- Well, unless you're Muslim, in which case he probably hates you or thinks you're a jihadist.
- He supported the ass hats over on Duck Dynasty after they made homophobic and racist remarks.
- He seems to think that we live in a post-racial era and liberals are just being dramatic.
- He had this upsetting hair style for a while.
So anyway, it's looking like he might run for PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OH MY GOD WHAT?! I'm not trying to be all political, I'm just saying that you shouldn't support this guy cause he hates an entire group of people based solely on who they love/like/like-to-touch. Maybe he'll come around after trying this cake I made him though?
*update!* At the time I'm writing this Bobby has just announced he would "absolutely" attend a same-sex wedding if it was for someone he loved and cared for. He just thinks they should be illegal.
Oh but hey let's talk about the cake. I've been on a bit of a cake kick lately and I'm not going to apologize for it because duh. This cake is technically a white cake, though I included some egg yolks to make sure it wouldn't dry out. The yolks make it slightly off-white but the flavor and texture you get is worth it. And then there's the matcha frosting. I came out of the matcha closet a few months ago with these petit fours and then these pop tarts. Thanks to the kind folks over at Aiya Matcha, the love affair is still going strong and this post felt like a good way to showcase it. The frosting is a little matcha-y and a lot almond-y and it all comes together to make a wedding cake that is pretty traditional and only slightly ruins the sanctity of #marriage.
Side Notes & Rambling:
- This recipe makes enough for two 9" cakes. I doubled it and baked the cake in a sheet pan. Once the cakes were cooled, I used cake cutters to make cakes that were 6" (bottom tier) and 2.5" (top tier). Baking time may be a little longer if you use this method, just watch it closely!
- I'm writing this post in a coffee shop and this adorable old man who looks like he'd be the best grandpa ever just walked in reeking of weed. Like this guy is absolutely stoned out of his mind and it's weirdly cute because he's got a cane and grandpa clothes (?)
- Mad props to Bruce Jenner for making such a public announcement this week! You're doing great things for the trans* community!
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1.5 cups sugar
- 2 t baking powder
- 1.5 sticks unsalted butter, melted and cooled
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 3 whole eggs
- 3 egg whites
- 1.5 t almond extract
- 3/4 cup whole milk
- 1 t matcha (I used Aiya Cooking Grade Matcha)
- 1 t almond extract
- 3 cups powdered sugar
- 1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature
- 1.5 T milk or heavy cream
- Preheat oven to 350* F and grease your pans (I'd line them with parchment paper for extra protection).
- In a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the eggs, egg whites, sugar, and almond extract on medium high speed until slightly fluffy, about 4 minutes.
- Add the melted butter and milk and mix to combine.
- Sift in the flour, baking powder, and salt and mix on low until combined. Don't over mix it, you just want it to all be coming together.
- Pour into the prepared pans and bake for 30 - 35 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean.
- In a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter on high for 2 minutes.
- Add the powdered sugar and matcha and mix slowly while adding in the almond extract and milk or heavy cream.
- You may need to scrape down the bowl to get all of the ingredients mixed together.
- Once it's all combined, beat on high speed for 5 minutes until fluffy.
- Store covered in the refrigerator for up to a week or transfer to a piping bag to begin icing the cake.
Frost the cakes however you'd like once they've cooled. To achieve that smooth look, freeze your cakes for half an hour. Remove the cakes from the freezer and fill the layers with the frosting and then spread a thin layer of frosting on the top and sides of the cake (the crumb coat). Freeze for an additional thirty minutes before icing completely. Freezing the cakes makes the icing firm up once it hits the surface and allows you to achieve a much smoother look. I used an offset spatula for this process, though a knife would probably work just fine.
He really seems to love his cake!! Awe bb!